A great man once said, you want to be successful - start with your handshake, on another Tedtalks video I saw the other day mentioned that if you wanted to be successful start with saying your name right. So, there are so many variables to this discussion, but yet I can safely say that there are a few common grounds through which we actually create the situation for us to succeed, if not, at least closer to succeeding.
Since I am a big on 'Intuition' & 'Energy' kind of a guy and for me it has worked and still works, of course with the right intention - It is sure to work with anyone who genuinely imbibes this into a daily practice which will then become very effortless when we deploy them in real life situations.
In psychology, a first impression is the event when one person first encounters another person and forms a mental image of that person. Impression accuracy varies depending on the observer and the target (person, object, scene, etc.) being observed, was the description provided by google.
Our First Impressions actually determine the length, depth and the quality of our conversations.
So, the First Impression can be nearly impossible to reverse or undo, making those first encounters extremely important, for they set the tone for all the relationships that follows.
My mom used to say I could've been a good lawyer, but that didn't happen.
When I was a teen, my dad almost lost all his hope on me, almost. lol.
Who I was, Who I am & Where I want to be, are all shaped by the choices
we make at every point in our lives.
Eight (08) years ago when I first landed in Dhaka for the first time after completing my studies from the New York Film Academy, I didn't know that I would become an Entrepreneur, Marketer or even a Public Relations Practitioner that I am today, had no idea what life had in store for me but I was determined to be involved in shaping it.
When I think of my childhood, sometimes, all the great & good memories get overshadowned by the single biggest catastrophe to have happened in my childhood - my parents separated. And I became an esteemed member (along with my younger brother Andy) of the Children from the Broken Family Club. Sarcasms apart, I mentioned choices so let's just put it this way my mom never liked the fact that I would choose filmmaking as a career, she wanted me to be a banker but alas. She passed away few years after that, so if my parents were together maybe today I would have come to you with a different story. My dad on the other hand supported in everything I did and wanted to do.
My dad migrated to Dhaka right before his marriage, and we came from a family of very modest income.
So my childhood was super modest. While growing up I didn't have a robust set of friends that I used to hang around with always all of whom I am still in touch with. My world was only limited to my home & a handful of school friends. There is always a moment in time in your life that turns your life upside down, that happened to me, my whole world was turned upside down. It was that very moment I knew my life is going to change. A new world has been opened up to me, a pandora's box, i wanted in, I wanted more. And for that I needed to change myself and my surroundings and everything that I ever believed in - had to change.
to be continued...
"Great to hear your idea! So why don't you start? "
" I don’t know how to do this? "
BECAUSE I WANT TO DO IT is also not really a viable option
just because you think it will work doesn’t always mean it will,
also there are a lot of variables and debate to this discussion.
However, on the other hand, there are a lot of I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO THIS people,
I was too on the same page once, but I say this because I experienced a pole shift
in the way I use to think. It is true that to understand people, you need to understand yourself
first and I embarked on the "Know Thyself" journey where I am still figuring out parts of
me that will allow me to be more self aware of what I do and how I approach things and
help me take better decisions for my life and success. We cannot be anybody, but as uniquely
as possible we will be distinctly us. Each of us are wired differently but to get stuff done,
to get your life rolling, universally we are all wired the same way. We have to get up and start
dancing, we get up and take responsibility.
This is one of the greatest era to be live in, where you have all the information you require at your fingertips, to make the product you want, to make the connection you want, to make the relationships u want.
I believe these are all excuses.
Because you must be good in something
and if you are not you should not waste a
single time complaining rather than going
out and acquiring that skill you need to deploy
on your dreams.
What if I don’t have the leverage?
That is again another excuse for the fear of failure.
Ok you want to build a shoe company you go
out find someone who makes the shoes, you either make him
a partner or you could hire him if you have the money,
you don’t know how to market them? find another partner
who knows marketing and work it out.
And what if you don’t want a partner, then you should go ahead
and apply and spend all your time learning about the craft of
making shoes, learning about marketing, sales and then using
those skills to get your brand on to the market.
So you see? In this year 2017, where all the information you need
is at your finger tips? There is really no scope to complain - you have Youtube,
Google and a dozen other sites providing you each and every information you
require to do anything that you want to do in your life.
This is one of the greatest era to be living in, where you have all the information
you require at your fingertips, to make the product you want, to make the connection
you want, to make the relationships u want. If we don’t collectively use this opportunity
then then we are all doing us a big disfavour.
And the only way we can guarantee that any of the things that I said will work? is we have to try, over and over and over again, i know it is easier said than done. But I give you my word,
if we put all our time in building us, learning , gaining knowledge and
studying the things we can IMPLEMENT, that is when our lives will
start to change for the better.
Bottom line is, Yes we can.
Excuses won't work, we have to.
How easy it is for us to get stuck in situations. sure even after you have tried quite possibly a million ways to make things work out - in family, relationships, studies, work, and i could go on, yet it wasn’t working out? But yet we still live in that zone. ‘Moving on’ is something we have not properly mastered yet, we get stuck. part of moving on is letting go but that’s a different story for some other day.
This is true that one truly learns from his/her own experiences in life. Everything you apply in life is learnt from somewhere, and we gain more when we apply them from experience and how do we do get that experience, from doing things, making mistakes and trying to do better the next time, but that’ll only happen when we move on to the next thing ‘if something isn’t working out’.
Things go wrong, they become right and then it could go wrong again, change is the only constant, recalibrate and move on.
We get stuck in the jobs we don’t like, we get stuck in the relationships (personal and professional) that we can’t provide with or receive any value from, i think it’s really all in the mindset, we are scared to move on, we become too comfortable to go for the next move, what if we fail again? what if that doesn’t work out again?
Everything in life, if a situation, relationship or work is not improving everyday there really is no middle point, it’s bound to go downhill. You either keep improving(moving on) or deteriorating(getting stuck).
Sure, not getting the outcome you want can be tough. I’m not pretending otherwise. The key, though, is to not let this setback keep you from moving forward.
In career and in life so far I’ve stumbled upon numerous scenarios in my work where things didn’t work out, even after you have a tried because you need to keep in mind you can’t try and fix something and get stuck fixing it all your life, you need to find the next thing to do to get unstuck and move on.
Things go wrong, they become right and then it could go wrong again, change is the only constant, recalibrate and move on. There is no point frowning over missed opportunities just because we failed to act on time - move on, there are and will always be opportunities coming your way as long as you keep moving forward. That is what I believe.
Say for example you decide today that you need to change the status of your health for the better and you magically expect it to become better just because you wished for it without actually doing something about it. If you really wanted to change your situation in this scenario you’d look up few articles online, read books on the matter, change your food habits, work out and maybe you would even learn to cook a few fresh and raw recipes, gradually your health situation would become better because your actions were well informed and you actively took part in the process of doing a little more. It’s about going the extra mile. You can't rush, just because it's necessary for us to go the extra mile doesn't mean we need to speed up to get there but then again that part depends totally on the circumstances of the situation.
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away” , sure but you can’t expect to be healthy just eating the apple one day and another one in 4 days or five. this is the thing > an apple a day keeps the doctor away.. you have to keep eating that apple everyday. You have to be constant .
We want a promotion ? We need to go the extra mile, we have to give more than others are giving, work more than others are working, and we’ll get that promotion, always the extra mile. If others are working 9-5 and so are we then there's clearly no way we can even expect to get attention, you become the average, the mass, no distinction, just like the others. Why do we then expect a better situation when we are not even willing to put more hours, effort and care… MORE THAN OTHERS - that will then make a difference.
If there's two people and they love you the same way and only one can stay with you, which one are you going to choose? The one that will go the extra mile for you, right? I think this very idea is applicable in almost every scenario of our lives.
I’ve seen numerous situations where two people having the same degrees, experience and expertise working in the same company yet one of them received a bigger salary than the other. The one that got a bigger paycheck, got it because his efforts were aligned with the idea of going the extra mile.
In anything that we do, it’s always the extra mile that receives the most attention, yet this is one thing most of us fail in. How about thanking your parents every once in awhile telling them how much you really love them and appreciate them constantly, the relationship with your parents is going to change. Put a little extra effort in caring about the people around you ( your colleagues, friends, family and maybe even some people you randomly stumble upon) and the dynamics of the relationship you have with them will change for the better and it will have an amazing effect on their personal lives and the lives of the people they touch and come in contact with because of your little extra effort.
The student who just does what the teacher says is a good student
but the student who goes the extra mile then receives ‘distinction’.
What are we then really aiming for? the average or distinction?
Husbands nagging wives not to go to work. Wives nagging husbands to come home early. Girlfriends nagging boyfriends to stop flirting on Facebook. Boyfriends nagging girlfriends not to dress in a certain way.
We all know what comes after, right? If wifey dearest wants to go to work, she goes to work, there is no point saying the same thing over and over again. If girlfriends are adamant about the way they want to dress then there is no point in you nagging about wanting to be her personal fashion stylist or in some cases, fashion police. Doesn’t work that way. ( just sayin' ! )
Constantly blabbing about something which is pestering someone’s personal space and/or disturbing the energy and peace of the situation the person is inhibiting in(we all have our personal space), is not an ideal situation by which you can gain your attention to get your point across.
But then again, there are pros and cons to every situation I believe except, however, I couldn’t find any pros to being dead, but that’s besides the point.
We have all turned into that 'nagging wife’, constantly trying to put our points across. I mean we should be considering the moment and the situation and also (it may sound crazy) maybe even the time
of the day we choose to talk about a certain matter ( i’m not even kidding ).
The whole point that i’m trying to make here is, there’s no point nagging if you want to get your point across or you want to achieve a positive outcome of a certain situation. There is no situation you
can't win over. You just have to play with it, dance with it, and influence the right temperature/season
to achieve the outcome you desire.
When you say something and you keep repeating the same thing over and over again hoping that you will be heard? You’re wrong my friend, you are creating a greater disconnect between you and the person or the people you are trying to engage with.
Same thing works for business, your social circles and your personal relationships.